You Just Never Know

This week the brother of a childhood friend of mine died. My friend’s brother was thirty-seven years old. I remember the brother as a big, strong dude.

His death makes me think of my own mortality, and the mortality of those around me whom I love. Although it happens every day, it’s difficult to fully comprehend someone’s death. I think in some small way we always wish that those we have loved who have died will someday come back to us.

Chances are, the younger you are, the more infrequently you’ve experienced death and the more infrequently you’ve contemplated your own demise.

Although I market myself as an “elder law attorney,” much of what I do is equally applicable to the young and old alike. For instance, I draft a lot of Wills. The Will I draft for an older individual is almost identical to a Will I might draft for someone who is thirty-five.

The fact of the matter is, older people think about the need to plan more often than do younger people, so older people need a lawyer who specializes in Wills and trusts more often than do younger people. That is, older people see a need to have a Will drafted; younger people think there is always tomorrow.

But sometimes tomorrow doesn’t come. The truth is, none of us know when our time will come. We are the only species who has the gift, as well as the curse, of knowing that someday we will die.

This is why I say that everyone over the age of eighteen should have a Will drafted, particularly if you have a spouse and children. You need to ensure your family’s continued care in an appropriate manner in the event of your death.

For instance, if you were to die tomorrow would you want your children, who might be small children, to simply receive your money? Or would you want the money held in trust until the children attain a reasonable age, such as twenty-five or thirty?

Drafting a Will for a younger person is somewhat different than drafting a Will for an older person. For instance, an older person, typically, can name a child to be the executor of his Will and be reasonably secure in the knowledge that his child will survive him. Since the child will, in most cases, survive the parent, the child will be available to serve as the executor.

With younger people, the lawyer should obtain the names of multiple individuals who are willing to serve as executor, in order to ensure that someone will be available to serve as the executor when the time comes, maybe thirty, forty years after the Will is drafted. If a person, age thirty-five, chooses his brother, age forty, to be his executor, the brother might predecease the testator or might be too old and feeble when the time comes to serve as the executor.

Furthermore, a younger person, unlike an older person, typically needs to name a guardian for his minor children and a trustee to manage the money that he would leave to his minor children, in the event of his untimely death. Once again, a younger person would be well-advised to name more than one person to serve in these roles, since anyone of the people named might be unable or unwilling to serve in that role.

I’m happy to say that I’m still a relatively young person. In the very near future, my wife will be having our first child. Like most young people, I think I’m going to live for a long, long time. (Even while I write this column about how some young people don’t live a long, long life.)

But being optimistic about the future and taking the time to plan for unfortunate events, such as an early death, are not mutually exclusive issues. I don’t have to spend my life thinking that I’m going to die tomorrow; however, I should have a plan in place, just in case I do.